Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Joy Journal: Bye Felicia

One of my favorite phrases of the last year or so is “Bye Felicia.” For those of you who don’t know what this means, it’s pretty much a dismissive statement that you say to someone when you no longer want to be bothered. It originates from the movie Friday where Craig was sending away his neighbor, Felicia. But what makes it so great now is that it doesn’t even matter if the person’s name is Felicia. Not using their actual name further highlights how insignificant they are. I believe anyone who wants to be happy in life should think about adopting this mantra when it comes to negative people.

I’m not suggesting you make a habit of cutting people out of your life for saying or doing something you don’t like. This also isn’t about abruptly distancing yourself from relationships before giving a chance to repair a divide. I’m talking about not giving people you’re only peripherally connected to the power to affect you emotionally, especially if it’s negatively.

We all know the types. They’re jealous, insecure and petty. They make biting, rude comments but passive aggressively hide behind “just kidding.” They give back-handed “compliments” that are really digs in disguise. Maybe they’re what I call hot/cold. They are incredibly warm and nice one day and frosty and distant the next. You’re often left wondering are you best friends or mortal enemies? You just never quite know where you stand with such people. I say let yourself off the hook and stop wondering.

I used to drive myself crazy trying to please people like this and still sometimes do. I want everyone to like me and it hurts if someone doesn’t. But guess what? I’m learning to say “Bye Felicia.” People like this can’t be pleased. And if their heart is already hardened against you because of jealousy or comparison, you can’t win them over anyway. Why try? These personalities are draining and these individuals are joy killers. Keep on loving them if you want, but do so at a distance. Whether it’s the person who cuts you off in traffic or the coworker or church lady who talks smack behind your back, dismiss these Felicias. When you get really serious about being happier in life you’ll realize you don’t have time for that! What you should make time for is the life-giving relationships you have. We’ll address that in the next post, Joy Journal: Celebrate Others.


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