Sunday, May 8, 2016

Many ways of mothering

It's Mother's Day. I just got off the phone with my mom. She lives out of state, so unfortunately, no brunch plans for us. As far as I can tell, it'll be a routine Sunday for me, except it'll include seeing a steady stream of Mother's Day pictures and posts in my timeline. Truth be told, holidays on social media tend to aggravate me because I'm generally not included. I started to anticipate feeling left out again until I realized something very important. I'm a mother too. No, I haven't had children yet. But I am a mother because I nurture. That looks a lot of different ways.

I taught at a Zumbathon event and a few students from my regular Zumba class came out to support. They loved it. And I'm not entirely sure why, but one of my students is truly my biggest fan. Even on my worst day, she sings my praises and feels inspired by me. That's teaching and that's mothering.

I met a group of women as we were all leaving a wine festival. They were clearly lit. After an amusing exchange, I urged these strangers whom I had never met to please drive safely. Then, I said a prayer for them on my way home. That's protecting and that's mothering.

I counsel lots of clients in my practice who have strained relationships with their moms. Many struggle because of their mom's inability to love in a healthy way. While I can't actually be their mom and heal every wound, I can provide a consistent, safe base. I can be an example of a secure attachment. That's role modeling and that's mothering.

I have prayed for one of my friends for nearly four years. For some reason, I've been deeply moved in my spirit to do so ever since I met her. At times, I've wept in earnest petition to God that she would fully realize who she is and reach her potential. That's interceding and that's mothering.

The list goes on. My point is this. There are many ways of mothering. If you've shouted for joy when someone you love succeeds, if you've shed tears of sorrow over someone's poor decisions, if you've poured out your life to others without knowing if anyone notices or cares, if you've loved fiercely and deeply, wishing nothing but the absolute best for another, then you are a mother and this is your day. Happy Mother's Day to all the natural and spiritual mothers of the world.

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