Friday, February 2, 2018

Why every woman needs a sister circle

Not long ago I was hanging out with a friend who’s a relatively new connection in my life. We’ve only been friends for a couple of years, compared to the fifteen years plus of my usual circle. She had remarked that she didn’t really like going out and meeting new people to which I replied, “I’m new.” She responded with, “But you don’t feel new.” I knew what she meant and it touched me. She was basically saying that our connection is genuine and there’s no pretense. Whereas you might have to test the waters with new acquaintances before revealing your true self, we didn’t really have to do that. We just vibed.

I think it might have been the same week of that conversation when I started hearing about different people’s struggles with friendship. A couple of my clients and one of my coworkers shared the difficulty of finding good friends. What fascinated me was that regardless of relationship status, women still craved connections with other women. I think it struck me so much because we are so conditioned to seek romantic love. Many figure once they get it then it’ll complete you. It doesn’t. It’s beautiful and it’s a gift to be cherished. It’s just one facet of love, however. The human soul needs a village to satisfy the depth of our emotional need. Women in particular seem to have a large emotional capacity to connect intimately and passionately with family, friends, and the world around them. Imagine the pain of having all that love to give and no safe places or trustworthy connections to share it with.

I definitely feel blessed to have abundant friendship love in my life now, but it wasn’t always like that. I’ve prayed countless times throughout my life, “God, I just need a friend.” I’ve gone without because I’d prefer to be alone than to force an inauthentic connection. I’ve also been very intentional about seeking connections with beautiful souls because I value relationship so much. Because of personal experience and periods of lack, I try to create the space for others to find that sense of connection as well. This is why I’m starting a monthly Sister Circle. It’s a discussion group for women where we'll come talk about life. I don’t think there are many spaces for women to show up, let their hair down, and truly be seen. It’s exhausting having to pretend all the time, or censor parts of yourself in order to be accepted. We all want permission to be ourselves and have others love us just the way we are.

Is that something you’re missing? Is that the kind of connection you crave? Then, come join us. I won’t necessarily promise you’ll find your soul mate sister friends there. After all, there’s still a certain magic and mystery that goes into any relationship. Chemistry can’t be forced. What I can promise is that you’ll get great practice being the kind of love you want and meeting others who are doing the same. From that, who knows…it could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

For more details on registering for Sister Circle, email 

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