The realization came from navel-gazing- literal navel
gazing. I was inspecting my stomach and wondering how someone so active and
otherwise fit could be so "endowed" in the midsection. Stress? Probably part of
it. PMS? I’m sure. But then I recalled the extra 250 calories I consume each
time I treat myself to a Starbucks grande vanilla latte. Oh and then there's the red wine
too, but let’s not go there.
The second observation was my blah mood. Thankfully, I think
I’ve turned a corner and the persistent, low grade sadness for no reason doesn’t
plague me as much anymore. But I was feeling down this weekend. I didn’t end up
having any plans. I found things to do to get out of the house, but without
company to enjoy them with it wasn’t quite the same. In my boredom, I found
myself passively and compulsively scrolling on social media. That, of course,
only led to comparison and loneliness. I could’ve and probably should’ve gone
to my church’s Saturday night service. I wasn’t up for it though. Sometimes
church is just one more place to feel lonely and disconnected. I just wasn’t up
for faking a smile, making pleasantries during the greet-your-neighbor portion,
and then leaving to go home by myself. Instead, I stayed home, started a new
series on Netflix, and took in more needless calories.
Then, here it was, another #SundayFunday, and all I had to
look forward to was laundry, meal prep, and hair washing. I decided that didn’t
work for me. I still had to do all that stuff, of course. But I needed more. I needed
to reset. I’ve never been one to diet or to get jazzed about a new workout
plan. I can see why people are excited by those things though. They give you
structure and accountability. They give you daily action points and help you
measure progress. In a world where things are vague, it’s nice to have
something concrete.
What exactly is my reset you might ask? Well, there are a
lot of moving parts. Suffice it to say, my focus for the next 30 days is more
of what I need and less of what I don’t. I hope to improve the way I nourish
myself physically, relationally, and spiritually. Maybe this will be a deeply
transformative experience. Maybe it’ll just be a subtle but necessary realignment.
Either way, I know it’ll be good. What about you? It’s the second quarter of
the year. Are you in need of a reset?
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