What’s
better than anxiety tips from a therapist? Maybe anxiety tips from an anxious
therapist. I don’t self-disclose often in practice. I try to stay focused on my
clients’ emotions and experiences. But since it’s my blog, it’s Mental Health
Awareness Month, and it’s important to breakdown stigma, I’m sharing that I am
an otherwise healthy, reasonably well-adjusted professional woman who deals
with anxiety. Because of this truth, I want to offer more than just the typical
management strategies we’ve heard. I want to offer things I actually use when
I’m struggling.
Breathe out
Most of us have heard of the importance of breathing to
reduce anxiety. But often without realizing it, how we breathe adds
to anxiety. When you’re stressed the first instinct is to hold your breath. So,
if you’re already holding your breath and then you try to inhale more it
actually contributes to an uncomfortable, constricted feeling in your chest and
throat, making you feel like you’re choking. Therefore, when you feel anxious
blow everything out first, pause a moment, and then inhale a long, slow breath.
Hold heart and center
After starting proper breathwork, another thing that helps
me feel centered is to place one hand over my heart and the other over my
belly. I don’t recall if I picked this up from a yoga class or if I just
intuitively did this hand placement one day, but it helps. You can do it seated
or standing. For me, it evokes a sense of being connected. When a wave of
intense anxiety strikes, it feels like a force threatening to drown me. But
when I touch my heart and center it’s my way of feeling secure and reminding
myself that I’m here, I’m grounded, and I’m okay whether I feel that way or
not.
Rock side to side
The third tip might sound strange, but go with it. You know
how babies like to be rocked? Well, so do adults. When we’re afraid we are vulnerable
like children. It only makes sense that when in that regressed state we soothe
the way we used to be soothed as youngsters. Next time you feel anxious just
rock your body from side to side. See if it doesn’t have a calming effect.
Eat light
All this breathing, holding, and rocking are ways to manage
the physical symptoms of anxiety. Worry thoughts alone are relatively simple to
handle in my opinion; you can just identify how irrational they are. But once
you feel bodily sensations, it can seem like you’re actually ill, dying, or in
danger. And since our emotional state is highly correlated with our gut
function, stomach issues often accompany stress and anxiety. Therefore, to
minimize gastrointestinal distress I eat smaller, lighter meals on high anxiety
days so I don’t freak myself out more because of nausea, bloating, or stomach
upset. Get the nutrients you need, of course. Just pick foods that are easier
to digest.
Take your time
A final practice I use to deal with high anxiety times is to
simply slow down. I’m conscientious by nature. I arrive places on time. I respond
messages promptly. To me, it’s a sign of respect. The downside, however, is
that I can make myself sick trying to reach arbitrary timelines. And in an era
when social media, direct messages, and texts make everyone accessible 24/7,
there’s often a sense of urgency to reply immediately when it’s really
not necessary. So, when I feel under the gun I’ve
intentionally started taking my time. I physically move slower, drive slower,
breathe slower. I’ll wait until the end of the day or even the next day to open
emails or messages if I’m not prepared to respond right away. I’ll take time to
have a snack or use the restroom or just sit for a moment, even if it means
running few minutes late. It’s truly done wonders. I still respect time and try
my best to stay on schedule. But if it’s between peace and punctuality, I
choose peace.
Like I said in the beginning, I share all this because I get
it. I really do. Anxiety is a formidable foe and one I’ve battled in some
variation my entire life. Numbered tips and gimmicky formulas sell, but cannot
guarantee 100% freedom from fear. Besides, what works for one person does not
necessarily work for everyone. I simply submit the things that have helped me
more often than not. I believe there will be a time when we won’t be afraid.
Until that day, stay in the fight and find what helps you overcome.
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