Wellness burnout

Do you ever find yourself overwhelmed by well living? It might sound strange, but I definitely know that feeling. There are so many moving parts and it’s hard to juggle them all.

Take the average person. You have work, chores, errands, and normal life responsibilities. But then if you value wellness and self-care, you also have meal prep and workouts to plan into your week. There’s also getting to bed at a decent hour, doing your daily meditation, oh, and aren’t wealthy people supposed to read at least one book a month? Then, if you want some semblance of a social life and still make time for yourself…where’s the time to do it all? There are only so many hours in a day.

Yeah, folks, I hate to say it, but the well life can actually add to overwhelm. Well, our expectations for a perfect wellness balance certainly can. Here’s the reality. It’s a constant juggling act. We can’t do it all. We must prioritize based on our needs and make choices congruent with those needs. But if you don’t give yourself permission to choose and instead, pressure yourself to do it all, you can burnout from trying to do wellness perfectly.

So listen, I give you permission today to make choices. Maybe you eat out this week because you’d rather go to church and visit family then take 4 hours to get groceries and meal prep. Provided you still make good nutritional choices it’s totally okay. Perhaps you take a week off from the gym if you have work deadlines and need to get more sleep. I promise your muscle tone will not diminish in a week. You get my point. It’s all important, but figure out what’s essential. You figure it out by asking yourself: What do I truly need? Whatever wisdom comes forth is the wellness plan you need for the moment. Whatever you do don't burn yourself out trying to do all the good things. Focus on the One who can help you discern your soul's needs and teach you how to live freely and lightly (Matthew 11:28-30, Message).

Do you want to be well?

It comes down to this question. It doesn’t matter how serious the issue. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve suffered with it. It doesn’t matter how many false starts or failed attempts you’ve had at addressing it. It doesn’t matter who’s supporting you or actively plotting against you. All wellness questions of life come down to this: Do you want to be well?

I admit, it’s a challenging question. It’s confrontational and often upsets people and makes them defensive. That’s why I want to make crystal clear that I’m not the first person to ask it. Jesus did. In context, he posed it to a man who had been disabled almost 40 years. John 5:6 tells us, “When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in his condition for a long time, he asked him, Do you want to be well?” Shouldn’t the answer have been obvious? You see me at the healing pool? You see my condition? Would you want to be sick?

Yet, it is a fair question. There is no better BS detector than the Lord Jesus. He has a knack for getting straight to the heart of the matter. The reality is that some (read some, not all) deal with chronic issues because they don’t really want to be well. They get sympathy for the sick role. They feel vindicated in their victimhood. They feel absolved from really showing up and trying in life because of whatever label or diagnosis they’ve fused their identity with. I know, I know. It’s a tough pill to swallow. But this dose of truth might be what finally heals you and set you free.

So, here we are kicking off the new year and I'm just as personally challenged as you are to consider this question. Whether it’s physical, emotional, or spiritual health you seek, the heart question that precedes it all is this: Do you want to be well?

If you could benefit from an honest personal inventory about where you are and your readiness for change, order your copy of “Vitals Check Workbook.” E-books available for immediate download.

http://gambrellwellness.bigcartel.com/

 

5 ideas for everyday self-care

I think about self-care pretty often. It’s a big part of my whole wellness schtick after all and I am always looking for ways to share how normal self-care can be. Vacays and spa days are always great. Those are bigger ticket luxury items though and tend to be reserved for special occasions. But the way life is set up we need self-care daily. That’s why I want to share more ordinary ways you can nourish yourself- ways you might miss if you aren’t mindful. Here are several from my own life in no particular order.

1. Don’t clean your plate

I know this goes against conventional wisdom. Maybe you believe it’s rude or ungrateful to waste food. Consider this though. You don’t have to force yourself to finish anything you don’t enjoy. Eating is about fueling your body, yes, but, it’s also about enjoyment. If you don’t like something, are you truly able to give thanks for it? I’m not suggesting we waste or not appreciate what we have. I’m simply saying that adulting means doing a lot of things we don’t want to do. Choking down unappetizing food should not be one of them.

2. Shave your legs

A second example of ordinary self-care we might not think about is shaving your legs. Maybe the normal routine is to rush through it in the shower. Maybe it’s just another thing to cross off your list. But what if you slow down the process? Take a bubble bath, indulge in time, and put on some of your favorite lotion or oil after. Smooth legs feel amazing and it’s such a simple way to nourish your body. Next time try making it an experience rather than a chore and notice the difference.

3. Make a playlist

Another way to engage the senses in ordinary self-care is through music. I got the playlist idea from fellow therapists and self-care influencers. Stefanie Flores and Davia Roberts recommend creating playlists depending on your mood. I love it because music is such a powerful reset. I have a few lists now for how I’m feeling. It’s a way to foster my creative, expressive side as well as honor whatever vibe I have on a given day. 

4. Learn something new

Another side of myself I like to nurture is my inner (or perhaps not so inner) nerd. Intellectual wellness is often a neglected component of overall wellness. It’s important to continually learn and grow, though, otherwise we get bored. That’s why recently I registered for an 8-week online workshop for empaths and sensitive souls. It serves a practical need because my profession requires continuing education. It’s also been great for expanding my mind. When was the last time you read or learned something new?

5. Say yes to you

A final point I’ll mention for how you can practice ordinary self-care is by listening to your gut and trusting its wisdom. I made a tough decision last week related to my business. All the warning signs were waving that something wasn’t right and I wasn’t going to be happy if I proceeded. It would have been easy to move forward anyway so as to not disappoint someone. Instead, I decided that as uncomfortable as it was to say no, it meant I was saying yes to what felt right for me. That made it worth it.

These are just my recent examples. But what about you? What are you doing in your life that is self-care without even realizing it? Self-care is any deliberate choice you make to nourish yourself and restore your internal balance. Maybe it’s sitting in silence. It could be taking a different route somewhere to create a mini-adventure for yourself. Maybe it’s going to the good grocery store that has nicer aesthetics and shorter lines. That’s the beauty of ordinary self-care. It can really be anything as long as it’s done with mindful intention. 

Endure

I recently heard a teaching by Dr. David Jeremiah. He was talking about endurance and sharing what he learned from his personal training session. As a trainer myself, his analogy got my attention. He explained that there are two ways to train your muscles. If you lift heavier weights with fewer repetitions, you grow in strength. If you lift lighter weights, with more repetitions, you grow in endurance. This is true and this is exactly the idea that I’ve been mulling over in the last few weeks. I was not so much applying it to physical training as much as emotional and spiritual training.

When I posed this question to friends, I asked if they’d prefer one big crisis in their life or several sequential stressors over time. Not surprisingly, most chose the one and done approach. They would rather power through one big issue rather than deal with a bunch of smaller persistent issues. Is this true for you? It is for me. It’s so much easier to be strong and brave once to get through a difficult situation. But to get up daily, face multiple stressors, the problems that irk your soul and persist weeks or sometimes months on end…that’s a whole different training that’s happening. It’s working out patience and resilience in you. It’s teaching you how to endure.

Next time you’re training, think about this analogy. For my heavy lifters, think about mixing up your regimen with lower weights and higher reps. For my sprinters and short distance runners, think about running slower and going farther. For everyone else, consider how life’s discomforts, aggravations, and frustrations are giving you a valuable skill set. There is most definitely a place for strength. But when you’ve trained to withstand for the long haul, then there’s nothing in this life that you can’t endure. 

To any who have been hurt in the name of wellness

You should see my Google search history of late. In the last 2 ½ months, I’ve done all kinds of research on healing digestive issues. The latter part of my summer and the first part of fall I’ve been totally consumed by the effects of a stomach bug that just wouldn’t quit. I haven’t been 100% or felt well for a while now. Thank the Lord, after a good report from my doctor Monday, I believe I have turned a corner. In my recovery process, though, I’ve realized some things. Wellness professionals can be self-righteous and judgmental as hell.

Now, because I’m one I’ll venture to say most are well-meaning. I’m sure people promote certain nutritional choices and exercise regimens because they’ve found them personally healing and helpful. Maybe their wellness habits did play a role in curing what ails them. Awesome! Here’s an inconvenient truth though. You can do everything right and still get sick. Your diet and self-care game can be impeccable and you could still suffer pain in this life. It’s not a reality we like to accept. I certainly don’t. But you can be vibrant and able-bodied until one day you’re not.

If that’s the case and health isn’t guaranteed, it seems like we should all be a little more patient and compassionate with each other. I know lots of delightful souls who deal with chronic illness, autoimmune conditions, pain, and various ailments. They didn’t ask to get sick. I’m sure they don’t want to be. Just in my brief season of moderate discomfort I was beside myself. It’s hard to imagine people who deal with sickness every day for years. Yet, many do. Because so many do, let’s skip the judgments about what they did (or didn’t do) to cause their illness. Let’s stop preaching to people about eating in narrow or restrictive ways. Let’s stop shaming people for being where they are, weight or size-wise, especially when they’re hurting. Let’s instead be merciful and kind. Let’s give people hope that relief and healing are possible. And you know what? Sometimes the most healing thing you can do is let someone know you care and they’re not alone. 

Wh you shouldn't compare yourself with yourself

Many of us have heard sayings related to you being your only competition and focusing on beating where you were yesterday. These are helpful in the sense that they keep you from comparing yourself with others. We each run our own race and should not worry what is happening for the next person. I just can’t help but wonder if competition serves us at all, even if it’s with ourselves. What if it actually interferes with accepting where we are today?

I thought of this because I haven’t quite been myself. I’ve hit a rough patch health-wise and because I haven’t been able to fuel my body sufficiently, I haven’t exercised as much. It’s been over a month since I’ve done much beyond teaching my regular fitness classes. I decided that I needed to ease back in to my own regimen, though, if I wanted to prevent regression.

The results so far? Well, let’s just say I’m in a much different place athletically right now. If I can muster the energy to jog a few minutes, I go much slower. If I can handle weight training, it’s with much lighter weights and fewer reps. Basically, my workouts are pretty wimpy compared to my personal records. But how fair is it to compare myself with my best when I haven’t been at my best?

I share this in hopes that you’ll let yourself off the hook. Life happens and so many factors impact our physical wellness: illness, injury, pregnancy, stress. Sometimes even in peak physical condition, energy levels fluctuate due to nutrition, hydration, or other hormonal and metabolic changes. The bottom line is we don’t always have to beat our best. Sometimes movement isn’t about recapturing some glory moment of the past. Sometimes movement is just celebrating that we can move, that we don’t have pain, that we have the strength to stand, that we can breathe with ease. There are any number of reasons to move that are less about beating your best and more about being your best however that looks today.

6 Ways Therapy is Like Boot Camp

Health doesn’t just happen. We have to be intentional. Any of us, me included, can experience less than optimal health when we neglect it. That’s why I decided to return to counseling after many years. That’s right. The therapist got a therapist and I’m so glad I did. Since making that choice I’ve considered the many ways therapy is like boot camp for your soul. Let me explain.

It’s an investment

I know we tend to be stingy with our time and money but therapy and fitness require both. If you want one-on-one, personalized attention, if you want someone to partner with you and walk you through the change process, you should expect to drop a pretty penny. It’s not unusual to spend as much as $60-100 per session for a therapist or trainer’s time and attention. But just remember, it’s not about lining their pockets. It’s about investing in you.

You must train your weakness

Confession: I hate training my shoulders. But if it’s a back or leg workout, I can do those for days. It’s easy to focus on our strengths and only do the things we do well. But if you want to grow, you need develop your weaknesses. Emotionally, you might rock at setting boundaries, but stink at expressing your needs. To be well rounded and whole you have to strengthen both.

It hurts before it gets better

You know that sore feeling that happens a day or two after a workout? We’ve come to embrace it as a badge of honor. It’s like, yeah, I did that. Yet, as soon as we notice emotional pain we rush to stop whatever is causing it. Why? Therapy is designed to bring up uncomfortable thoughts and emotions, so we can deal with them in a healthy way. Don’t run from feelings. Discomfort can often be the very sign we’re getting stronger.

It’s best with accountability

You ever notice it’s hard to do the fit life alone? It’s possible, but there’s not as much joy in it and it’s harder to stay on track. Same goes for therapy. It’s great if your therapist is your coach and guide, but you’ll notice even better outcomes if you have support in your personal life. So, tell your trusted friends and family members that you’re working on your emotional health. Maybe you’ll inspire them to do the same.

Small change happens first

You know the feeling you get when your clothes start fitting differently? Or maybe that subtle ability to walk a flight of stairs without getting as winded as you used to get? The same thing happens emotionally. Maybe a simple task that used to cause anxiety doesn’t freak you out as much anymore. Maybe the negative thoughts you battled aren’t as loud. Regardless of what it is, it’s a small but significant change. It might only be discernible to you, but it encourages you to keep going.  

It’s about progress, not perfection

A final noteworthy similarity between therapy and fitness is that perfection isn’t the end goal. No one can be perfect. You will have setbacks. You’ll plateau. You’ll get off course. But as long as you keep moving and don’t quit, you’ll keep progressing. That’s what life’s all about. Progress.

There you have it, friends. Let’s not just burpee, squat, and run our way to physical health and totally neglect our mental health. Let’s get just as excited to train our soul. Put in the work required to be emotionally well. I can assure you there are few things in life more attractive than a beautiful soul.